Home > Wedding > Rings…A sign of Love or Love of Money?

Rings…A sign of Love or Love of Money?

Yesterday afternoon WTOP posted a story on engagement rings. Has the economy affected people’s attitudes?

Why do we still feel compelled to buy something that DeBeers convinced us we needed in the 1940s and 50s?

I have to admit, the pros and cons of engagement rings certainly circled through my head for the last couple of years!

Do I need a flashy symbol that announces to the world that I’m someone’s property? Do I need a guy to spend 3 months salary to prove that he loves me? Are diamonds even ethical? Shouldn’t we save that money for a house or the wedding?

Once Charles and I decided we would be getting engaged, he led most of the ring talk. For a while, I thought I’d be economical and ask for a gemstone ring. They are just as pretty as diamonds, just a different color.

I showed him a picture…”That doesn’t look like an engagement ring though,” he said. Sometimes I think he lives in the 50s.

The next thing he said… “Well you know, this isn’t ALL about you, you know.” Translation…I want to give you something I’m proud of and that my friends won’t think…That’s *all* he got her? Honestly, I’d never really imagined that guys put so much thought into the ring.

Once I tried them on though, I did wonder if my tastes would eventually change and I’d regret getting a colored stone. Diamonds by nature are a little more timeless in that respect…

So like any good man should NOT do…the first stop on our ring shopping tour was Tiffany.

To make matters worse, the first ring I tried on was the legacy…with a $19,000 price tag. And it looked just perfect on me!

Somehow after that experience, nothing at Kay’s, Fink’s or even Helzberg could stand up to this beauty.

Honestly, I’d always even been on the fence about ring shopping with a guy. Don’t I want to marry someone who just knows me well enough to pick out exactly what I’d love and surprise me? But this engagement was no surprise. It was something that had been carefully discussed and thought out ahead of time so we knew we were both ready.

And in the end, I’m glad we went shopping together. We realized what did and did not look ok on my short stumpy fingers. He realized that sometimes what he *thought* I’d like caused me to make not so happy faces. He realized that fancier isn’t always better in my world. Really, I’m a pretty simple person.

I think he learned all he needed to learn. He headed to a locally owned store (M. Beem Jewelers) and did a fabulous job working with them to create something with the sparkle that I loved in the Tiffany ring, and the simplicity I liked in other rings.

I love what he came up with, and I’m sure I’ll ever tire of staring at it on my finger (especially in sunlight. I ā™„ tiny rainbows it makes!). But not because it represents how much money he makes or that this rock somehow equals his love. I loved him no less the day before I got the ring and I loved him no more the day after I got it.

In a practical way, it shows that even though the economy may be in a recession, he has the ability to save money for things that are really important to him.

But mostly I love the ring because it represents the care that he places in making important decisions. It wasn’t an easy decision to decide we were ready to be engaged. We spent a year working on better ourselves, our health and our finances. And it wasn’t an easy decision for him to pick out one single gemstone to go in a ring that would symbolize to the world that I’m devoted to him and he is to me.

I don’t NEED the ring to be engaged to or married to him…but I love everything it stands for.

And after all, this isn’t just about me. He’s quite proud to show it (and me) off too!

  1. July 8, 2011 at 2:49 pm

    Hi there!
    I replied to a comment you left in my blog- well in my post, but I wanted to check out yours! What a lovely blog you have here
    I also wrote about the huge internal conflict I had about diamonds and rings and all that in my blog- and I wont lie, I pondered about it afterward a lot as well- even though we went with craftsmen gems and what not, I still worry that I contributed to something negative in the production process- but like you, there were certain things SO and I had to consider when making our choices, and I really do think its “our” ring, not just mine šŸ™‚

  2. gretchen
    July 11, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    this post makes my heart swell. so beautifully written and perfectly correct!

  3. Kelly
    July 12, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    I just read this posting and its amazing, it all makes so much sense! I have never thought of an engagement ring the way you described it! I have to say that it makes so much sense and I hope that the day I receive a ring that I feel the same as you! Congrats!

  1. July 12, 2011 at 8:48 am

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