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One Love. One Life.

I do not envy my boyfriend today.

His first task of the day is to come up with one sentence that reflects his feelings for his father. Each of his father’s kids (four of them) will write a sentence to be compiled into a poem to go on the back of his funeral program. How do you sum up nearly 40 years of feelings into one sentence?

I’m pretty sure I was more emotional Sunday morning when I heard the news that he passed away than I was even when my own father died. It’s easy to be shocked and upset that you’re not upset when it’s someone so close to you. But when it’s someone that’s so close to someone close to you…it hit hard.

Charles started trying to write his thoughts last night. The whole time he sang Bob Marley and couldn’t get it out of his head.

“Let’s get together and feel alright”

Perhaps it’s the most fitting.

Charles’ dad was one of the first of his family members that I met. Even though we weren’t “dating” yet, I was greeted with a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek (the same way I’d be greeted every time I saw him). I’ve never felt more welcome into anyone’s family other than my own as I did when I met him.

Alan Hines had more love in his heart and shared it freely with so many people. And as we prepare for his funeral, I can see that a lot of what I love in Charles is a product of his father’s influence.

I’ll forever be grateful for all the love he passed on to his kids. I know if he could talk to them now, he’d tell them to “Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel alright.”

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  1. Becca
    November 30, 2010 at 8:48 am

    This is beautiful, Mary. And I have to say I felt the exact same sentiment as you when your dad died. I cried more when I found out about that than when my father passed away. I think it’s the knowing how hard it is, and how sad it is, and how much it hurts and to think, sure, I’ll power through but I don’t want anyone else I love to have to suffer like this. All our parents should pass away peacefully in their 90s…

    • November 30, 2010 at 8:52 am

      I agree. I think it’s the fact that people in their 20s and 30s are planning funerals that bothers me the most.

  2. December 2, 2010 at 12:39 pm

    Great post Mary, my heart breaks for you and Charles.

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