Home > Family > Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night

And so…another cousin has lost another parent (or really, a cousin has lost his wife, but their kids are my age, so I identify mostly with them…especially given the circumstances).

“I have lost the person who was my best friend for 41 years and my lovely wife for 31. For me it was love at first sight, but it took Judy 10 years to accept her fate. We had a wonderful life together, and have two great kids,” my cousin wrote. Or rather my third-cousin.


We missed you then, and we'll miss you always.

I feel absolutely blessed to have met these distant relatives so many years ago when my father’s family started having not-so-regular reunions. ALL these people…with so many name tags beginning with “J”…it was hard for a 13 year old to understand who they were or where they were from or keep them straight at all.

But I’ll always remember that a few of them could have my mother or I practically rolling in the grass with laughter. And Judy was one.

One of the greatest gifts I think I received from my father was a deeply ingrained sense of family and their importance. It seems in every immediate family, there is one person who feels a NEED (not a want, but a need) to be that contact to everyone else and try to keep everyone together. In my father’s family, it was him. In my family, I think it’s me.

Some of the greatest supports my family has had over the years have been people we simply call “cousins.”

No need to specify that they’re my father’s father’s cousin’s child or my father’s mother’s brother’s grandchild… And don’t get me started on Mom’s family tree…which at points is really more like a bush…

They’re simply “cousins.”

And they’re simply wonderful.

I hope that Judy’s family receives the same love and support as I know my mother and I have been lucky to receive. A lot of it has come from friends, but some of the best of it has come from cousins.

Categories: Family Tags: , ,
  1. Jeannine
    July 28, 2010 at 6:44 pm

    Amen, cousin!

  2. Lara Allen
    July 29, 2010 at 12:45 am

    I’m more proud than ever to be your cousin! Loves!

  3. eileen o'brien poole
    July 29, 2010 at 11:02 am

    … it really is ‘about the love’, and we’ve been so very blessed to have been taught that. my parents laughter, along w/ steve & rita, and your grandparents is (still) one of my happiest memories of childhood. just hearing “the cousins are coming” can bring back every giddy recollection, of when i was a girl – hearing that grown-up laughter, not understanding who was whom. i have long suspected that for most people the word “cousin” does not necessarily fill them w/ the warm, loving, happy feelings we’ve been so fortunate to know!

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